Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Real Love & Bliss

Yesterday while driving to school I saw something beautiful. A truly, passionate, heartfelt, straight out off the movie screen kiss. And they didn't even know I saw them.

I was driving through a neighborhood in Provo, driving slower than normal, considering I was not actually late this time, and there I saw it. On the front lawn of a small house, a young woman, probably 20 or 21, stood in her peacoat, looking around the corner of the house, obviously searching for something. I watched as a man, probably around the same age or older, sneak up behind her, startle her and then they both smiled. He put both hand on the sides of her face, and then proceeded to give her a kiss like I had never seen. She responded quite well, she recipricated by placing her hands around the back of his biceps, and pulling him in closer. The kiss was not rushed. The kiss was not forced, hard, or sloppy, it wasn't even playful, which would have matched the scenario its seemed they were just previously in. No one else was around, they werent showing off for friends or family. Weren't taking engagement pictures, just loving eachother unaware of bystanders.

It was genuinly beautiful. I smiled as I kept driving, and I felt happy. I felt peaceful. Peaceful knowing that with all the crap that happens in life, there is only one true pure and genuine thing left on this earth. True Love. That couple was in love. There no doubt about that. It might be dumb to assume from one simple kiss I saw driving by that they were in love. But if you saw that thing, you would just know too. Besides I can safely assume they were married considering that I travel this same route everyday to school and for the last 2 months there has been a jeep parked outside that house with "JUST MARRIED" on the back of it.

It made me think of how amazing true love is. Not the phoney high school "ohhh you are my first love, we are going to be together forever, even though half the time you hate me and tell all your friends that, and half the time I ignore your phone calls when Im with my friends because you annoy me with your jealousy" kind of love. Real love makes everything in life better.

When I was a little girl, my biggest dream was to grow up and have boobs. Big boobs. I would dream about how awesome I would look, how boobs were so womanly and if I had them I would be a real woman. I would go out of my way to measure my boobs everyday compared to weird objects just to see if they were growing. I was 9. Where am I going with this? When I thought the whole world revolved around boobs, if I was having a bad day I would say to myself something like "its ok...Im gonna have boobs." or "in the future if anything bad happens to me, I can take comfort in knowing I have boobs. At least I will have boobs." Yeah I was weird. But anyway, that is how being grown up and marrying my husband felt. My boob comfort blanket was replaced by husband the comfort blanket.

If I am having a bad day, when I think about all the hard things I have to go through in my life, and I don't even know what they are yet, I take comfort in knowing that I have Scott. That no matter what happens, its gonna be ok, cause I have Scott. There is NO better feeling in the world.

Yesterday I was happy. Not just from the kiss, but actually happy...throughout the whole day. I was blissful infact, euphoria like. I dont think I even told my husband how happy I was. Was my situation any better than it was the day before? not really...infact Im pretty sure it was worse. We were more worried about money, our house was dirtier, we had less food, and we both had to go back to school and work. But I was on a high, a high of being in love with my husband. It was the best feeling in the world. I had that mentality that no matter what happens I have Scott, and its an amazing thing when you realize that Someone you can hold onto forever. Even when you are both suffering, the pain feels less in their arms. A lot of people in life never get married, but even a majority of those who do never really find their soul mate. But I found mine. He blesses my life everyday and makes me happy to know that he provides that true love feeling for me.

Don't get me wrong, not every moment is amazing. It would be realiastic if I made it out that way. But it is realistic to believe in real love and know for a fact you have it. Because I do. And once you do find it. You will know. Never settle for less. It will never be the same experience.

Its that complex, yet that simple.

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