Like a kid on Christmas Eve

Im writing this the night before my entire life changes. It changed once back in February of 2010, I added a premanent person to my life, and its about to change again as I add another one. My mom flew into town last night, and she went to my check up with me this morning. My doctor was happy to let me know that Im ready to be induced tomorrow. He said the hospital is going to be calling me around 5:30 or 6:30am to set up my time to come in. Its an erie feeling knowing what is around the corner, but its also beyond amazing.

I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve. Knowing that in a few short hours the day that you have been waiting anxiously in anticipation for is finally here. It's going to happen and you are so excited you can hardly sleep. You are also a little sad because you know that this day you have been waiting for is about to be over too. Nine months I have been carrying this baby. Nine months of excitement, of preparing, and jitters, and what-if's, and then its finally over. It actually makes me a little sad when I think about her being on the outside of my body. Not so sad when I walk the entire stretch of the mall, wishing ao badly she was in a stroller and easy to push, rather than tug around on the front of my body like a 10 pound permanent back-pack. Im sad that I wont have feel her every movement, every twitch, every hiccup anymore, Im going to miss that bond with her. Im also sad that once she is out, she is out in the world. She is going to be defenseless at times, and she is going to grow, faster than I want her too. She is going to live life, when sometimes I wish we could live life joined together always. But I am more excited that she will soon be in my arms, and I can finally put a face to the invisible love I already have for her.

Tonight is my last night with my husband alone. I literally tear up as Im typing this. The honeymoon is over, and no doubt that this will bring us closer, but part of me wants to crawl in bed and cling to him for dear life, while the entire world stops. I feel the end drawing near, and I feel like there isn't enough time left for us to just be US for a few last hours. I'm going to miss him. Him in the role than he is now, but oh to see him in the role of dad makes my heart flutter. He will be such a wonderful dad.

Tomorrow my life changes, and we couldn't be more blessed.