the girl who never finishes what she starts

Throughout my entire life I have never been good at finishing things that I start. It doesn't matter if it was a project at school, day planners, journals, diaries, scrapbooks, or even the laundry. In general I am an EXTREMLY fickle about most things in life. In high school I could not decide where I wanted to go to college, In college I couldn't decide what I wanted to study. With boyfriends I would fixate on what I wanted, change my mind, lead them on, and then turn around and be totally infatuated with them.
Making up my mind has never been easy for me and I think people might think im really foolish for constantly changing my mind, and I can understand that, but in truth I just really have all these ideas of things I want to be, I just want to do it all, be skilled in it all. Can you really blame me for that?

When I was in college I was going to school for a major in Health Science. I planned on taking that back to Colorado and becoming a dental hygienist. Was that what I really wanted to do with my career? No. Not really. I was going to do it because I knew that it made a good amount of money for a single person and that it was a really safe career path to take. When I was back in CO, I did dental schooling and then started working in Cosmetic Dentistry office as a dental assistant. I did that for about half a year. I can honestly say that it was the most miserable job I have ever experienced. I hated every single minute of working there. Not because it I was bad at it, actually I was quite skilled and quite good. But it was just too serious for me, there was not enough play, there was not enough fun.

I left that office and started to really think about my life and the things that I wanted and where I wanted to go. I decided to take a turn to a career path that I had always thought would be fun and something I was good at. Teaching preschool. What did I have to lose? I found a preschool and the same day I applied I was hired on the spot. Over almost the next year I fell in love. I fell in love with the kids, my co-workers, everything about the job came naturally any I enjoyed going to work everyday. I felt like I had finally found my calling in life. :)

Then I moved to Utah so Scott could continue to go to BYU. I moved to a Preschool here in Provo and honestly, its harder than I woul dhave ever expected. The pay is so bad, and even working full time, we are behind on everything. It has made me feel so pathetic and worthless. There has been nights that I have cried for hours on end because I felt like I failed, I failed myself, I failed my husband, and I just am good for nothing. Now I realize that is not the case, but it just get down sometimes and cant help but beat myself up. We decided that the best thing for me to do is for me to go back to school. It will help us get ahead in the long run and help me feel like im contributing more.

We came to the conclusion that right now, while I need to be working full time to keep the income, and where Scott's schooling is the most important, we can't exactly afford for me to go to school full time while he is as well. Well here is what we have decided...Im going to go to Cosmotology school!!!! Paul Mitchell to exact. Im pretty good at hair naturally and I have always had a talent for that kind of stuff; make-up, and hair. This program while help me get a job in a salon a lot faster than waiting to go back to school. Don't get me wrong, Im not changing my career again. I definetly want to and am going finish my education at a University for Early Childhood Ed or Elementary Ed but right now this is what will help our family the most in our current situation, and help us get ahead financially while Scott is trying to finish school. My true love is teaching children, and I will return, you mark my words, but we feel like this is a really good move for us.

...and I'm not gonna lie, Im pretty excited. :) I start night classes September 13th. I finally want to finish something I start. Start to finish, all the way, no changing my mind. I need this for me.