life as parents

It has been 12 days since the birth of Ava. Adjusting to being parents is the most wonderful yet difficult experience, and everyday is different at our home since she has joined our little family. Some days its easy to get out and do things, run some errands, see friends; and some days, like today, I spend most of the day sleeping when she sleeps and finally making it to the bathroom to brush my teeth by the late afternoon.

But everyday is beautiful with our little girl. Since she was born I had my own battle with some baby blues (they really do exist and they ARE normal, I checked), but when I look at my baby girl, watch her open her eyes and look up at me, or watch her smile while she sleeps, it makes everything worth it. She is so helpless, so defenseless, and it makes me feel like a queen to provide everything for her. I feel like I am doing exactly what I am meant to do.

Scott has been more than a wonderful dad. He loves to hold her, he doesn't mind changing her diaper, he takes her and cuddles her when I need a shower, and everyday I hear him telling her sweet little things like "we love you precious little girl" or "you're so beautiful Ava" and sometime he doesn't even know I am listening. He melts my heart. He is much more patient than I am, so he has been my rock and my level head when I have started to over-stress or get overwhelmed. He is so gentle with our little baby, and so patient with me. The morning after we got home from the hospital, which was a very long night might I add, he left early to get my medication filled and I woke up to a bouquet of flowers and reaffirming card that everything was going to be ok. He is exactly everything I hoped he would be when I married him. He has not disappointed.

Scott was able to stay home from work with me from the day she was born until the day after Thanksgiving. It was wonderful to have him with me at every moment and have that support. It brought us much closer. Working together to take care of this little life we created. I will say that I got spoiled though, having him home for several days made me that much more emotional once he had to go back to work. I wanted him with me, near me and the baby, and I was devastated that he was leaving, and I was afraid of being alone with the baby. Not because I was actually afraid of the baby, but because he is just such a good dad that I felt like I couldn't do it on my own without his help, and I was so happy to finally have my little family all together, and I didn't want us to be separated. BUT...the morning he left to go back to work, I was able to get her asleep on my own, and celebrated by sending him a picture of my accomplishment bundled up in the bassinet. I was pretty proud of myself I must say.

Life is totally different, but different in a good way. We don't know it all yet by any means and it is going to take some time before I finally feel completely comfortable in my new role as a mom; but for now, learning to adjust to her world is an adventure and chapter in our lives that I am more than happy to share with Scott.